5 Query Letter Mistakes

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​Writers who aspire to traditional publication have multiple options, but the most time-tested—and the route that many writers take—is pursuing representation by a literary agent.

​If you’ve chosen this path, you are likely familiar with much of the internet’s advice on writing query letters. As a professional editor who specializes in queries, and a represented author, I’m here to offer you a bit more advice. But instead of talking about what to include in your query letter, this post will cover five common issues in queries.

​1. You bury the lede.
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Often when I’m working on query critiques, I read half of the query letter before I find the sentence that grabs me. That sentence should be the first thing an agent reads. Whether you’re burying the lede under mounds of unnecessary “personalization” or piles of background info, remember to dig out your hook and put it right at the top.

2. You use the full page.
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A query letter must be no more than one page. That is the edict. But does it have to be a full page? Absolutely not! Don’t feel inclined to fill every square inch of allotted space. Keep it short and focused. Concise queries are more approachable, require less time investment for the agent, and demonstrate that you understand your story and its crucial elements.

3. You tell about your story.
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Avoid writing about your manuscript—and especially avoid bragging about your manuscript. No lines in a query letter should read like an endorsement blurb. MY MANUSCRIPT is a riveting tale of— Nope! Let the agent decide it’s riveting. You should also avoid telling the agent about specific elements. Instead of stating, The narrator’s voice weaves humor into a dark subject, show the agent that humor through the voice of the mini-synopsis.
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4. Your bio is longer than your mini-synopsis.
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The bio can help you establish credibility. However, you are not more important than the story. You are selling the agent on your manuscript, not on yourself. So if your bio begins encroaching on your mini-synopsis, take a step back and decide whether the agent really needs the name of each and every story you’ve ever published.

​5. You give a play-by-play.

The query letter should not be a play-by-play of the story’s plot. The query should focus on specific elements of the story: the conflict, protagonist, and stakes. When the mini-synopsis reads like an outline in prose form, it’s time to go back to the drawing board.

Write a Stronger Query
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If you’re guilty of any of these mistakes, don’t worry! Correct them before you send your next round of queries. If you could use additional assistance, learn about query coaching and critiques here.

​Related Articles:

• Query Letters 101
• Submission Survival Guide
• Editing Basics