How to Write a Memoir: A Step-by-Step Guide

Memoirs are a popular form of creative nonfiction that offer readers a glimpse into the author’s personal experiences, emotions, and perspectives. Whether you’re a seasoned writer or just starting out, writing a memoir can be an incredibly rewarding experience. However, it can also be a daunting task that requires a lot of time, effort, and emotional energy.

This article explores how to write a memoir that is engaging, authentic, and memorable. From brainstorming ideas and outlining your story to finding your voice and revising your draft, we will cover all the essential steps that you need to take to write a successful memoir. We’ll also cover the questions you should ask yourself before setting off down this path.

What is a Memoir?

A memoir is a type of creative nonfiction that tells a story from the author’s life. Unlike an autobiography, which covers the author’s entire life, a memoir focuses on a specific period or theme. Memoirs are usually written in the first person and often incorporate the author’s thoughts, feelings, and memories.

Should I Write a Memoir?

If you’re considering writing a memoir, you may be wondering whether or not it’s a good idea. While writing a memoir can be a rewarding and cathartic experience, it’s not necessarily for everyone. Here are some factors to consider when deciding whether or not to write a memoir:

• Do you have a story to tell? A memoir is a personal account of a significant event or period in your life. If you have a story that you feel is worth telling and that others may find interesting or inspiring, then a memoir may be a good fit for you.
• Are you comfortable being vulnerable? Writing a memoir requires a level of honesty and vulnerability that can be difficult for some people. You’ll need to be willing to share personal details and emotions with your readers, which can be uncomfortable or even painful at times.
• Can you handle potential criticism? Writing a memoir means putting your personal story out into the world, which can be both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. While many readers will find your story inspiring or moving, others may not be as kind. It’s important to be prepared for potential criticism or negative feedback.
• Do you have the time and energy to commit to writing a memoir? Writing a memoir is a significant undertaking that requires time, energy, and focus. You’ll need to be willing to commit to the writing process, which can be time-consuming and emotionally demanding.

If you’ve considered these factors and feel that writing a memoir is something you’re interested in, then go for it! Writing a memoir can be a powerful way to reflect on your life, share your story with others, and leave a lasting legacy.

Explore Your Motivations and Define Your Goals

Before you begin writing your memoir, it’s important to take some time to explore why you want to write it. Understanding your motivations and goals can help you stay focused and manage your expectations. Here are some common reasons people choose to write a memoir:

• To Process Emotions: Writing a memoir can be a powerful way to work through difficult emotions or traumatic experiences. By putting your thoughts and feelings on paper, you may be able to gain new insights or perspectives on your past. If this is your driving motivation, there is no need to worry about anything except putting words to paper in a way that helps you or feels cathartic.
• For Family or Posterity: Many people write memoirs as a way to preserve their family history or to share their life story with future generations. If you’re writing for this reason, you may want to focus on capturing the details and experiences that are most meaningful to you and your loved ones. You may also want to consider how your family will receive certain aspects of the story. Most folks who write a memoir for this reason choose to self-publish the finished book so they can give printed copies to friends and family.
• For Publication: Some writers choose to write a memoir with the intention of publishing it and reaching a wider audience. If this is your goal, it’s important to be honest with yourself about the marketability of your memoir. It’s a tough market to break into, and it can be especially challenging to see your own story objectively. Be ready to approach your memoir like any other writing project and to receive constructive feedback from beta readers and editors.

Planning Your Memoir

Before you start writing your memoir, it’s important to have a clear plan in place. Especially if you want to publish your memoir, you should understand what makes your story unique and marketable.

Defining the Story

Some memoir writers start work believing that their entire life is the story. But that leads to an unfocused book that won’t engage readers. A memoir typically explores a significant event or period in a person’s life. Before you begin writing, be sure you can answer the question, “What is your memoir about?” The answer should be clear and specific, not just “my life.”

Outlining Your Story

Once you know what your memoir is about, it’s time to start outlining your story. Begin by creating a timeline of the events that you want to include in your memoir. Think about how you want to structure your story and what themes you want to explore.

While the events may not be up for debate, the structure certainly is. Will you tell the story chronologically? How much page space will you devote to certain events or characters? Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Identifying Your Audience

Before you start writing, it’s important to identify your target audience. Who do you want to read your memoir? If you are writing for friends and family, you have already identified your audience. But if you aspire to reach a wide audience, you should consider your ideal reader. This will also help you understand how to market your book.

Writing Your Memoir

Once you have a plan, it’s time to write. When you’re drafting, the important part is to get the words down.

Finding Your Voice

One of the most important aspects of writing a memoir is finding your voice. Your voice is what makes your memoir unique and authentic. It’s what sets you apart from other writers and allows readers to connect with your story on a personal level. To find your voice, experiment with different writing styles and techniques until you find one that feels natural and authentic.

Writing a Compelling Opening

The opening of your memoir sets the tone for the rest of the book. It should be engaging and compelling, drawing readers in and making them want to keep reading. Stories should begin in medias res, with the main conflict. But don’t worry too much about writing the perfect opening scene the first time around. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to strengthen the opening during the revision process.

Developing Your Characters

To make your memoir engaging and memorable, it’s important to develop your characters in a way that is authentic, true to life, and engaging for readers. Show readers who your characters are through their actions, dialogue, and interactions with others. Think about each character’s goals and motivations, and explore how each character changes through the course of the story. And yes, that includes your own character.

Adding Emotional Depth

One of the most powerful aspects of a memoir is its emotional depth. To create an emotional connection with readers, it’s important to be honest and vulnerable in your writing. Share your thoughts, feelings, and fears, and show readers the emotional impact that your experiences have had on you.

Revising and Polishing Your Memoir

Like in any writing process, the draft of a memoir is just the first step. After you’ve gotten the story on paper, it’s time to take the next steps, based on your goals for your memoir.

Let It Rest

After completing your draft, it’s important to let your manuscript rest. Take some time away, and try to get your mind off the story. This will help you get some much-needed distance so that you can approach the manuscript with a degree of objectivity. Letting the manuscript rest is an important part of every writing process, but it’s especially crucial for memoirs, since the writer has such a personal connection to the work.

Revising Your Draft

Next, it’s time to edit. Begin with big-picture revisions. Evaluate the structure and pacing, cut any unnecessary or repetitive information, and be sure you focus on the most important events and themes. Starting with high-level revisions helps save time; it’s far less efficient to spend hours perfecting the prose only to decide to cut or rewrite large sections.

Getting Feedback

Once you have a draft of your memoir, it’s important to get feedback from beta readers. You may do this before or after editing your draft. Share your work with trusted friends or family members, or join a writing group or workshop. Be open to their feedback, and consider the best way to address patterns in feedback.

Polishing Your Prose

Finally, it’s time to polish your prose. Look for areas where you can improve the clarity, correctness, consistency, and condition of your prose. Make sure your unique voice is consistent throughout the story. Proofread to eliminate any grammatical or punctuation errors.

Hiring a Professional

Depending on your goals, you may hire a professional editor for your memoir. A full editing process typically includes developmental editing, line editing, and proofreading. If you are self-publishing for a general audience, a full editing process will likely be the best route for you. Otherwise, the type of editing you need will vary based on your experience, manuscript, and goals.

Publishing Your Memoir

If you’ve completed your memoir and are ready to share it with the world, you have a few different publishing options to consider. Each option has benefits and drawbacks.

• Traditional Publishing With Representation: To publish with a large traditional publishing house, authors need to first find a literary agent to represent them. The process of securing representation and going on submission can be long and challenging, with no guarantees of success. However, a book deal with a big publisher can lead to wide distribution and more career opportunities than other options.
• Traditional Publishing Without Representation: Authors can submit to many small presses without an agent. These independent publishers typically have fewer resources than big publishers and offer lower advances. But they are more accessible and often allow authors to maintain more creative control.
• Self-Publishing: By self-publishing, authors maintain complete control over the publishing process. But with control comes responsibility. Indie authors are also the publisher and are therefore responsible for everything, including editing, book design, and marketing. Independent authors, especially those who intend to launch a career with their self-published book, should plan to hire professionals to handle these aspects of the process.

Of course, this is a very brief description of the options. Check out this post for an in-depth look at the pros and cons of each publishing route.

No matter which publishing route you choose, it’s important to carefully research and consider your options. Take the time to learn about the publishing industry so you can understand the best options for your goals.

FAQs About How to Write a Memoir

Q: What’s the difference between a memoir and an autobiography?

A: While both memoirs and autobiographies are forms of creative nonfiction that tell a story from the author’s life, memoirs tend to focus on a specific theme or period, while autobiographies cover the author’s entire life.

Q: How do I decide what to include in my memoir?

A: Think about the events, people, and experiences that have had a significant impact on your life. Make a list of these ideas and choose the ones that resonate with you the most. Consider your audience and the themes and messages that you want to convey through your memoir.

Q: How do I find my voice as a writer?

A: Experiment with different writing styles and techniques until you find one that feels natural and authentic. Write regularly and read widely to develop your writing skills and gain inspiration. Try writing in different POVs to find the one that feels most comfortable for you and your story.

Q: How do you structure a memoir?

A: There are many ways to structure a memoir, but some common approaches include a chronological structure, a thematic structure, or a hybrid of the two.

Q: What should be avoided in a memoir?

A: When writing a memoir, it’s important to avoid including information or stories that could harm others, as well as anything that might be considered defamatory or libelous. If you have questions about the legality of anything in your memoir, contact a legal professional.

Q: How long should a memoir be?

A: The word count for a memoir varies based on the story and the author’s goals. Generally, memoirs are between 60,000 and 80,000 words. Authors who publish independently have more freedom in regard to the word count; however, word counts that are too long or short can still impact their book sales and reviews.

Q: Should you use real names in a memoir?

A: Many authors use real names in their memoirs, as it adds authenticity and credibility to the story. However, if using real names could harm someone or violate their privacy, pseudonyms can be used. Discuss any legal questions with a qualified professional.

Q: Is a memoir written in first person?

A: Memoirs are often written in first person, as they are personal accounts of the author’s own experiences and thoughts. But memoirs can certainly be written in third person as well.

Writing Your Memoir

Writing a memoir can be a challenging but incredibly rewarding experience. One of the most difficult parts of writing and publishing a memoir can be approaching the story in an objective way. Your story is part of you, and it can be incredibly challenging to step back and ask hard questions about its focus and marketability.

The steps outlined in this guide will help you write a memoir that is engaging, authentic, and memorable. By sharing your experiences, you have the power to inspire, educate, and connect with others on a deep and personal level.

When you’re ready to pursue your publishing goals, book your editing and book design services with our team at Blue Pen. Our team of editors and designers can help you turn your memoir into a polished book that’s ready for submission or publication.